The Woods

February 18, 2011

I am standing in the woods.

It is dark. But I can see clearly as the moon breaks through the tree tops.

I… don’t know where I am. It is possible I am dreaming.

I hear the sound of running water and look to my right to see a running stream. The water is crystal clear.
Almost begging you to drink it.

There is no noise. No wind. No chirping of birds or croaking of frogs. No rustling of leaves.
Silence.

I look around. I am not alone. I see the silhouette of rabbits and owls sleeping in the branches.
The rabbits see me watching and hop away… they make no noise… there is only the running water.

I open my mouth to speak… but I don’t. This isn’t a place of human words.

The light of the moon cloaks me, and I move towards the stream.
My feet make no sound until I hit the water.
It is as cold as ice.

I am in the middle of the light. Seeing where it encircles.
I see figures, watching me from the thick of the wood. Figures that move as swiftly as shadows.

The circle of light surrounding me grows smaller… collapsing in on me as the creatures move out of the trees and closer, hidden still, within the dark.
It grows smaller, and smaller until there is almost no light left, just the moons spotlight on me. And the dust floating through the light.

I cannot hear the creatures. But I can feel them, I can feel their presence, their breaths.
Soon the light will be gone. I fall back and sink into the depths of the cold stream. They will not follow me.

I stay down, in the darkness. In the freezing cold. I feel the flow of the water as the stream carries me.
I hold my breath for what feels like eternity.
And lift myself from the water. I do not breath. It is much too cold to breath. The water has slowed here. And I lay in a shallow puddle.
I look around. I am in a clearing of grass. Black grass that waves gently as if there was a breeze.
I feel no breeze here.
I get up and walk around. There are no animals here. A few tree stumps. And now I cannot even hear the river.
I see a dark path forming between the trees. A path.
I follow it.
I walk on. Hours pass. Years maybe. Time is irrelevant here.
I see a red light up ahead. A reddish glow, unworldly.
As I get closer I see what it is.
A rose. A beautiful red rose. Black outlines around the edges of the petals.
The sight of this rose makes my eyes water. Such an indescribable beauty.
A beauty neither human words nor melodies could describe.
It was something truly mystical that had the presence of a force not bound to be kind to man.
I began to hear. Sound, like pebbles dropping.
I looked and saw my tears freeze as they fell hitting the ground as stone.

I feel my stomach churn. Claustrophobia sets in. I feel the woods crushing in on me.
I run.
Wildly through the forest.
The trees sink towards me. The forest will consume me.
I break through a thicket, smashing myself through a barrier of thorns.
I am on an open plane. The moon is hidden behind the clouds, but stars light the sky. The field stretches out for miles. In the distance I see the shadows of horses running free.
Small droplets of rain fall onto my face.
Around me they fall as tears.
I wipe the water from my face.
It smells of milk and honey.
The majesty of this world…

“My soul is a dark forest. My known self will never be more than a little clearing in the forest. Gods, strange gods, come forth from the forest into the clearing of my known self, and then go back. I must have the courage to let them come and go….”

I hear the sound of a piano. Beautiful sad tunes… The world around me reacts. I feel it cry with me at the sad tunes. And I see it… the sun rising in the distance… the dew on the grass and a soft breeze blows my neck.

And I know. And I understand.

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Darkness of the Unknown

December 20, 2010

O death, where is thy sting? O grave where is thy victory?
(1 Corinthians 15:55)

Men fear Death, as children fear to go in the dark; and as that natural fear in children is increased with tales, so is the other. ~Francis Bacon, Essays

“I wont ever be what you want me to be.”
“You’re not human. You will never be a human. Lord of the Darkness. Destroyer of Worlds.”
“No. I am human. You know why? I may not be able to dream and you can say I don’t have a soul. But I that’s not what makes someone human.”
“Oh,” says the darkness that haunts me “What makes you a human?”
“The ability to look back at things in life, the ability to see situations and wonder. Wonder, what if? What if you’d hadn’t said or done something. Regret. That’s how I know I’m human, how I know I have a soul. And you can say I’m not a human. That I’m this monster, this lord of the darkness. But I will never, NEVER be what you want me to be!”
“Hmm.” The stitched faced being says to me. Scratching his face.
We stand in the centre of tar road. Willow trees line the streets side. There are no stars, no moon, it is complete darkness but some soft light from a lamp post.
“What is a monster?” asks the being. “Humans are close. They kill for fun. Butcher innocents. But you. You are less then they. You cannot dream. You are my son. Born in darkness. Others are born in the light. Or some at night. You see, some say that darkness doesn’t exist. That there is light. And absence of light. This isn’t true. There is light. Absence of light, and us. And you can feel it. Feel it grow.”
I feel it.
I feel an evil overcoming power inside me. I feel the intense darkness. I feel it grow inside me.
“No!” I scream. “I will NEVER be what you want me to be!”
The creature moves towards me, truly not of this world.
His face is close to me, I feel his breathing, like death had turned into air. I feel the cold of it touch my skin, I feel it’s cold sting, I feel death. I stare into the white pits of his eyes. Though they are complete white I feel the dark. I can see it. Unexplainable the darkness within his soul. This creature. My creator. My father…
“I. Will not. I wont.”
He smiles. I feel his grin in my heart. I feel it like a dagger.
“You cannot outrun fate.” He whispers. The cold stench of death on his breath stings my face. “You cannot out run death,” he hisses. “You cannot outrun ME.” He groans.
His rough charcoal burnt arm reaches out. Entering my stomach I feel a squeeze. My eyes widen in fear and pain.
“You were right.” He chuckles. “You did have a soul. But, I destroyed it. I’m very disappointed in you son.” He says.
He removes his arm. I feel my life fleeing from me like air escaping from a balloon.
He begins to walk away, up the road. Into the thickest of the dark. Tears drain from my eyes, I try to scream, try to beg, the life dies, and all I feel is fear.
He turns his neck, I cannot see his face.
“You could… always change your mind?”
“Fuck… you.” I whisper.
“Hmm, so be it.” He says and walks off, vanishing from my view.
I feel the last of my life existing my body, I feel cold and lose all feeling. The thoughts from my mind become muddled. I lose focus and feel my face plough into the pavement. It doesn’t hurt. And slowly all becomes fuzzy. The last thing I hear is the slow, rhythmic breathing of the creature from the darkness. Death.