Harsh Winds

December 3, 2011

The man leaned over.
He was fat, moustached and red faced.
His body wobbled and flobbed like the tides of the ocean.
His rolls jiggled and collided like continents.
Mountains of fat burst from orifices they hadn’t been before.
A loud sound built and grew throughout his body as he emitted a slight noise from his lips: ‘Eeeeeee’
Suddenly like the crack of lightning he released a thunderous fart, shock waves vibrating through his whole body, shattering his spine as he fell to the ground in a mass of fat and skin, melted down like a pancake, he covered the floor.
‘Eeeee’ he said.
Finally his last breath left him.
He had died.
A tragic spine shattering death that smelt strangely like honey.

MEANWHILE

In another part of the world, a butterfly flapped it’s wings, producing a small gust of wind that moved a small fleck of dust that moved a bigger fleck that started a chain reaction causing harsh winds 300 kilometres away, causing a airport to have delays, delaying the plane that would arrive at another part of the world causing a man to break his wait and sit down at a restaurant and eat dangerously hot chilli that would release his bowels that would release his wind, that would break his spine.

If you believe in such things.

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‘What If?’

November 3, 2010

The cold concrete steps beneath me as I sit, watching the passers by.
My train has not arrived yet.
She walks down the stairs across the platform with her friend.
Her blonde hairs falls from her head, lush and graceful.
She tries to walk across the platform and I smile. She cannot walk in heels.
She looks at me and we smile at each other.
I continue to sit as a cool breeze blows against my neck.
I remove my hat and shuffle my hands through my hair. The breeze is nice.
I pull my phone out and inspect the time.
There is still time.
Still time until my train arrives.
I glance over at the girls, I see them glance back and giggle.
I smile to myself and change the song on my iPod.
Children finishing school rush past me, yelling at each other.
I cannot hear them but watch as they race in time to my music.
A freight train passes as I tip my head back against the white poles along the stairs.
I close my eyes and let go.
I feel the wind and the sound of a fading freight as I slip away from reality.
The train passes and the song changes. I check the time.
I still have time.
The girl gets up and begins to walk over, I could swear she looked at me.
But my cynicism tells me she will pass.
She is next to me now. I see her smooth white legs in front of me.
My heart beats.
Could she stop?
She stops. She turns and kneels down next to me and begins to talk.
I remove my headphones and talk back.
She is beautiful.
And we chat friendly. I wonder how this could happen, and why, and my heart races.
I mumble and say everything wrong.
I panic under pressure.
I try to take in all the information, but my brain is lapsing.
What did she say her name was?
It was like a dream and when you wake, try as you might to remember, it slips falling through a void.
A void where you can never reach it, in the empty crevices of your mind.
I try to remember. But I can’t. It’s like trying to catch wind with your hands.
Soon the time comes and the train arrives.
I wish I had more time.
I have forgotten, and no matter how far and wide I search I still cannot find what I am looking for.
If only the time on my phone moved in reverse.
If it gave me more time.
If I could have said what I thought, what I meant… what I truly felt.
Would that have been so wrong?
But time goes on. Forward. Seconds lead into minutes. Minutes lead into hours. Hours lead into days.
And the next time you wake you lose a little bit more.
Sometimes I wonder… when we die… do we perhaps live again?
Do we simply relive life, over and over again, without the knowledge that this has all happened before?
With that dying thought being ‘What If?’
With no memory we repeat our lives. Repeat our mistakes.
But with that nagging feeling in the back of our minds.
Has this happened before?
Or was it, perhaps, a dream?

Somniloquy

June 12, 2010

“And there will be such intense darkness that one can feel it.”Exodus 10:21

A feeling of trepidation, falling through a spiral of darkness. Deep intense darkness. The deepest darkest black. So much nothingness that I can feel it press upon my skin. I scream and hear nothing… nothing. Absolute nothingness. Not even the ringing of noise damage in my ears. There is only silence.

I wake from my bed. It is dawn. What was that awful dream? A lucid dream of falling. Falling through the darkness… falling through nothing. It is completely silent. The sun slowly rises but it feels like an eternity. Birds begins calling outside my window. I rise and open the blinds. Small droplets of rain dribble down my window. The rays from the sun warm my cold flesh as it shines through the window. Words echo throughout my thoughts.

“Cloaking your soul. Wearing a mask.
Faceless entity, you deceive yourself.
Heartbroken and Scared.
Rediscover what was, buried beneath what is.
Emerging from the dark and into the light.
The shadow grows, light forgotten within.
Former life destroyed in four years of turmoil.
Pain hidden behind your Heroic Mask.
Your cracks are showing; faceless God.”

My hands tremble with fear, as I reach for the desk beside my bed. I pull my hand out with a little container marked ‘Sonata’. My Zaleplon. My eyes droop. I am so tired, a restless night. I had fallen asleep without my drugs, I was in the clothes from the night before. Deep blue jeans, and an oversized leather jacket.
I remove the jacket and swallow some pills. Now I shall rest without the darkness. Without the fear, sleep, and rest easy.
I lay down upon my bed. Head aching. The light fades… a dark shadow creeps through my room and the last thing I see before I sleep is a big… wide… smile…
I try to scream, but I fall into a deep sleep.
The voice rings in my ears as I fall through the dark.

“Sleep now. Feed Mara. Lord of the Shadows, your time draws near. Feel the darkness, feed it. Let it consume your flesh. Let it wash over you like a wave of enlightenment. Feel it’s power coarse through your veins. Feast, and be born a new. Wake from your slumber. And fill time with darkness. Spread and devour the light.”

My heart pounds furiously, but I cannot feel it with the intense darkness pressing upon my chest. I feel as if I am going to explode.
I do not want to die.. Not trapped here within my mind.
The voice speaks once more.

“Death is impossible. Until I am free.”

Bliss

June 8, 2010

It is night outside, the light shines in from the street lamp across the road. The moon is full, and if all were quiet you could swear it was humming… But all is not quiet. They’re at my window, eating the bars. Ugly little bastards aren’t they? That awful gut-wrenching stench of dried blood and that haunting cry, like cats getting raped. I think I might have a milkshake.

Two minutes later, sipping at my chocolate milkshake I ponder on how I got myself into this ridiculously absurd situation. Soon the conclusion dawns on me, that this all occurred, because I was in dire need of a blow-job.

8:32am that morning I wake with an erection. After having a glorious tug I get out of bed and proceed to make a coffee. Caramel latte. Three sugars. Sipping my coffee I stare around at the cesspool that is my house. I should really clean it…. I frown and shake that depressing thought from my head, I guzzle the last of my coffee, pack my suitcase and leave for work.

9:23am- I sit impatiently in my car. I drum on the steering wheel to a Guns ‘N Roses tune. I twitch now and again with annoyance. I’m going to be late for work… I’m going to be late… late…. fuck. I beep at the traffic ahead and throw myself around the car like a sped with bees up his ass. I’m going to be late for work. FUCK.

10:30am- My face is red with rage. My heart is pounding, my teeth gritting. I’ve been coping it from my boss for the last twenty minutes. I can’t concentrate on anything but my anger and stress. I daydream of vicious Velociraptors tearing my co-workers to shreds, blood splattering the office floor as they scream, being torn limp from limp apart while alive, meanwhile I am in a toilet cubicle getting laid by the sexy receptionist.

11:59am- Bored with graphs and statistics I change screens on my computer and log onto MSN. No one is online. Suddenly ‘SxcRecipe’ signs in. It’s the receptionist from my fantasy, we’ve been flirting for days. Suddenly I feel myself go hard. Dreams and fantasies fill my mind again. So I open a convo, and begin to chat.

1:02pm- I’m sculling my sixth coffee. For the last hour I’ve been dreaming of raptors. Killing everyone. The screams of my co-workers makes me smile. I picture the big claw on their foot cutting through that sexy, slutty face of the receptionist. That god damn dumb bitch. I finish my coffee and throw the cup across the room at the wall. My colleagues stare at me and I flip them off. I go into the toilet cubicle and pray for raptors. I beg God, Satan, Steven Spielberg, anyone I can pray to. That receptionist I talked about? She’s black mailing me. FUCK. I should have never asked for a blow-job!

8:43- This is about where you came in. A still silent night besides the constant cries of these hideous beasts, screeching, hissing, snorting. They really are foul. I begin drinking my milkshake panicky. My hands get sweaty and I feel dizzy. How did it get to this? Truthfully I don’t know. I was at the supermarket, and then I watched, starring in disbelief as the check-out chicks turned into blood thirsty Velociraptors, ripping customers into bloody shreds before my eyes. Hell. I still don’t believe it. And now, they’re outside my house and soon they’ll be inside my house. Ripping me to shreds. Soon I’ll be dead.

I finish my milkshake. With a sigh, I sit down on the couch, and I wait.

Nostalgia

May 23, 2010

Burning nostalgia.
So strong, intense, images searing through the pages of time.
A memory so strong you can still smell it, still taste it.
Flashes, thoughts, building, becoming clearer, the fog fades, the crystal becomes glass.
Could a memory be so powerful you could go back?
Could you travel through the very fragments of your soul to a memory so intense that you can exist in it? Make changes?
Could you perhaps flip through your life like the pages of a diary?
Can you remember who you are?
Can you remember who you were?
Can you remember who you will become?
Can you stop me?

I’d like to see you try.

We measure time by the annoying tick of the clock. We measure by our tedious sense of boredom. We measure life from start to finish.
From fade in to fade out. Why not fade away?
Does a memory vanish with your mind?
Or can you relieve the great and wonderful. Find the mysterious.
Feel the love.
Feel the heat. Feel it burn. Feel your body burn.
Ravenous flames burning your diary, your book of life.
Ink melts and seeps through the pages. Your life becomes a muddled mess.
Memories meld together and you forget what was when.
Wake up in a memory. Forget the writings. Your diary is blank.
Rewrite history.

XYI- Two Paths

March 28, 2010

Life is one path. All you do is walk down it, and take what comes along the way. Whether there be a hill you must climb, or a puddle you must dodge. But the real question… is our purpose to walk the road? Are we here to dodge the puddle or climb the hill? But no… life isn’t a road. It’s tens of thousands of roads, all with different scenarios. One path could lead you into a completely different life. All it takes is a choice. And how does one choose a path? Sometimes we simply see a footstep in, and judge on the closer… but if only we could see furthur in…. if we really had the choice. But we can never really have our lives exact… there are too many variations… small things, creating huge reactions… But let’s just say… let’s just say, life was a path. And you’ve got a choice to make… what do you choose?

My eyes opened abruptly. I stood up, eyes burning. I was in the middle of nothingness. Literal nothingness. I stood on white. White all around. There was nothing. How can there be nothing? It was worse than being lost in the dark. I could see, but there was nothing. I can’t begin to describe the sickling feeling in my stomach as I stumbled around helplessly. I screamed and heard nothing. I put my hands in front of my face. I could see them! Where was I? I walked onwards hoping I might find something but when I did… let’s just say I wished I didn’t. Though I was walking on white something was holding me there, I put my hand down but felt nothing. No texture, no tempreture, nothing. But as I walked along I came to a pond… a pond like a liquid mirror. It was as if there was a whole different world on the otherside of it… I wanted to go through. Like there was some needed knowledge beyond it… an answer maybe…

As I stared into infinity I could feel it sucking me in. Like it was sucking my soul out of my body through my pupils. I couldn’t look at it any longer. So I tore my eyes from the pond. But as I did I could have swore I saw a fish. Completely written. As if it had been billions of codes programed. But I didn’t dare look back. So I walked for what felt like a lifetime. I wasn’t tired, but I was thirsty. Yet it was different, I didn’t need water. I felt different. Like in my mind I knew there was something, I could feel it in my fingers. Like I could do something, yet I didn’t realise it yet…

What was that? Something in the distance. A colour. A tunnel. I ran. As I approached I slowed to a walk to see two tunnels with two men… well I wouldn’t call them men. They didn’t look human. They were formed like human. But it was like they were something else. Made of something I wouldn’t have believed existed even if someone had explained it to me. They stood there. Unmoving. Like mannequins. And like I was thinking to myself I heard it pierce into my mind. I knew what I had to do. I don’t know how. It was like a thought had somehow been implanted into my mind, like a time bomb waiting for the moment to go off. I had to choose a tunnel. One would lead to my destiny. One would lead to my life. There wasn’t a question of which I would choose. I wanted to know my destiny. My purpose. Why I was here.

A reason.

But how would I choose? The men. I had to ask them. One question. Only ask one of them. One would always lie. One would always tell the truth. But how would I know? I couldn’t figure it out… but if I didn’t, I’d be stuck here… in limbo. In nothingness… So I sat on nothingness and though long and hard about who to ask… then I realised I was thinking wrong… and decided to think about what I should ask. Finally I decided. So I walked to the one on my left. And I said “What would the other one say if I asked him which is the right way to my destiny?”
He told me the right hand tunnel. I knew it was the right way. The logic worked perfectly. I would have patted myself on the back, but I was to curious… so I walked down the tunnel. And as I did I felt like my body was being morphed. Like I wasn’t even a form anymore. Like I was a force. A power. An entity. And then it started going fast. Like I was getting sucked into a body. Like I had been out of my own and I was coming back. Only, I had something with me this time… something I’d come to understand. Some knowledge…. some power…. and then it all went black.

Primeval Hearts

March 22, 2010

Vision
The Northern eye falls upon him,
Stopping him dead in his tracks.
Sword blood red, eyes shut tight
Draining his power from him.
With the blink of the eye, allows him the time
To hide from this unearthly creature.
With the swish of his sword
And a screech from the eye,
He sits there and waits
For this unearthly creature to die.

Interigartus
The rain is colourless
A land quite clear
Heaven to Werewolves
Why am I here?
Full moon overhead
Werewolf stalks the bay
Screams all night
Screams till day
Howl you must Venso
On you twelfth birthday.

The Laughing Vampire
The day of dread
A dawn of sorrow
Why live another day
The fact is that I’m already dead
Cut me, slash me, do all that you please
The fact is that I’m already dead.

Water World
Through misty waters you may seek,
Though your chances of finding are merely weak.
Through waters cold, a land shall come.
It will be revealed
And all will be done.

The Kingdom
Not carved in brick and mortar
Not carved in blood and bones.
There is one last city
An unearthly creature owns.
It sits upon a mountain
A desolate rocky trail.
There it plays the Pan Pipe
Gazing at the shore
Wishing it could be there
At the Kingdom, once more.

Dead Night
Eyes blood red,
Fingers pale white.
I see him,
In the dead of the night.

Angel’s
The Angel’s asleep
The Village waits for defeat
Dead Men don’t weep
Cry, come save us O’ Lord
We await sound of feet

Dragon
It’s egg fell, like a tear, from the sun itself
It rained that day, the rain fell as steam
It hit, falling through to the core itself
It rained that day, the rain fell as steam
Years pass, flowers bloom, rivers dry
A silent echo, the Earth shakes, a Dragon emerges
Terror strikes, a hero, a reason, a legend, a lie
Sword drawn, he faces the beast, he swings
It rained that day, the rain fell as steam

Elegance
A child of elegance
A child of such intelligence
I smell him from here
I see him
I see fear

Autumn
The Autumn leaves fall
Coo coo, coo coo, goes the Owl.
A sweet Autumn breeze, blowing across its face
Coo coo, coo coo, goes the Owl.
Eyes lower slowly, ready to go to sleep
Coo coo… coo… coo…. goes the Owl.
The old lady sips her tea on the park bench
Ducks quake, dogs bark, children laugh and play
The Owl sits there asleep, on this fine Autumn day.

Aquila oculus subsisto etiam
He moves.
It does not.
He breaths.
It stays motionless.
He walks.
It waits.
He falls.
It watches.
He dies.
It feasts.

Loveless Beat
She walks by
His heart skips a beat
She says hi
His heart skips a beat
She dies
His heart then cries
A loveless beat

Signum Fidei
For those who fall or may be slain
A petal of a rose, granted to thee
Will cure the symptom, but not the pain
So as you lie fast asleep
An Angel comes with a harp of Gold
Whose songs so strong they make grown man weep.
An Angel ancient, strong and bold
He shall state upon to thee
The Verbum Dei

Subrosia
Though scattered, his thoughts were one.
Though confusing they made complete sense
A vision. An Image. A masterpiece.
But why can’t it exist.
A pen was lifted. A thought was given.
The land of orange skies.
A beach, with sea shells on the shore.
A surreal fence, stretching into the distance.
A cloaked being, a land of imagination.
The land never to be shown.

Transfer
Darkness around me, the crashing of thunder.
I lay in the middle of the road, water running over me.
Closing my eyes, as the cold drops dampen my body.
A feeling of euphoria, in a dream like state.
The crashing fills my ears along with the splashing of rain.
My eyes open, looking up to the heavens. Breathing heavily….
I lay down to die. To rest forever. My soul exits my body.
I ascend.

Carnivore
And like rain, fire fell from the sky
Trees alight in flame and I watched, as they died
My world destroyed before my eyes
Like a shark eats a fish
This fire consumed my world

Hearts
I burn through the innocent. And butcher all who have light in their hearts.
The world shall tumble to darkness. And the Kingdom of light shall fade.
And as my eyes close, forgetting the scene of light. I close my heart.
So I keep it with me. And never fade to the darkness.
The light stays in my Kingdom… my heart….

Relic
A crystal moon, engaging like the winters heart.
A silent whisper, echoes like a flying dart.
He sits in wind and storm, not moving from his chair.
He sits, day in night, guarding his sacred lair.
Eyes, set fixed upon a little flower
Sensing from it, a forbidden power.
Waiting day and night, for his master to return
Of journeys, of adventures, he did wish to learn.
Of forbidden cities he wished to be told
Stories of monsters and heroes, grand and bold.
A present he did keep, hidden in his yard
The last remaining artefact he was here to guard.
Gleaming yellow like the golden moon
From another realm, it belonged to whom?

Song of Storms
By the graveyard he does waltz
While the leaves sing their songs, the Piper will play
Drenched in the mud and the rain
A Hero bleeds and kneels to pray
The dead shall all rest
All part of Tailtiu’s big play.

The Face of Love
When love gets my faith
When I hear her call
I decide upon my fate
When the wall is about to fall
I face the Goddess
I face it all.

Deep
Coldness engulfs me as I feel the air from my lungs escaping.
I cannot breath as the icy water pushes me down…..
Darkness grows, and I feel the pressure building…..
An ecstasy fills me, a euphoria never experienced….
Amongst the rough pulling of the currents I find myself at peace
Death is blissful

Adrift and at Peace
Faith disappears from time
Space vanishes like a ghost
Life fades like a dying sound
Here and there. Not here, yet there.
A note that gives no sound.
From yesterday to the infinite
The tomorrow of the past
The ripples of a life, not but a dream.
Adrift and at Peace

Primeval
Unscathed, untouched through time.
A visual image, unimaginable.
Unscathed, untouched through time.
Rivers flow, fires burn,
Mountains crumble.
The sky stays the same.
Unscathed, untouched through time.
Lightning strikes, waters flood, continents shift.
Unimaginable change.
Volcanoes blow, earthquakes shake, lizards roar.
Unscathed, untouched through time.
Wild, uncontrollable, nature, breaking free, painfully.
Unscathed, untouched through time.
Men fall, blood sprays the ground.
From Ape to Man, from Man to God.
Unscathed, untouched through time.
Grasses grow, a child breaths, a family dies.
The Earth remains the same.
Unscathed, untouched through time.