I’m Alive

March 25, 2010

“It’s hot.”
“I know.”
“It’s too hot.”
“I know!”
“Calm down Samuel, no need to get angsty.” I spit as I wipe the sweat from my forehead.
“Well you’re pissing me off, just shut up we have a long drive ahead of us!”
As our car drove over the heated sand of the desert, I put my head out the open window to get a breath of fresh air. The warm air pushed against my face and filled my lungs as I slowly brought my head back into the car.
“How long is this long drive going to be?” I asked, flicking Samuel’s ear.
“Will you bugger off! We’ve got seven kilometres till the ridge.” He yelled back.
“Drive off road for a bit!” I whine, pointing to the desert sand.
“Oh you’re no fun!” I moan, sinking down in my chair.
“I am! I’m just not stupid! Some spots in the desert the sand is weak, and just walking on top of it can cause it to collapse into an underground tunnel, and they stretch for miles!”
The car continues to drive along as dirt flicks up onto the rear of the car and the sun belts down upon it showing no mercy.
“I can’t take it!” I screech in an insane rage.
I lunge forward, twisting the steering wheel to the left.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing Tony!” He yells as the car stumbles over sand and weed.
“I’m going insane! I need to get out!” I scream with spit spraying from my mouth.
There is a crunch, and everything goes dark. We are both thrown to the roof of the car. There is a loud smashing sound, and just as soon we are thrown back into our seats.

I awaken and drag myself out of the car window, smashing my hands upon the rough icy ground. I lay down a second, catching my breath. I put my hand to my face. I feel the nice warm blood dripping down my face. I take a moment to gather my wits and then check on Samuel. He is still.
“Samuel?” I ask shakily, giving him a poke.
He does not move, so I slowly move my hand to his neck. No pulse. My brother is dead.
“No!” I scream as it echoes through the cave.
I can’t believe it. He can’t die, no, it wasn’t my fault, it was my fault, I killed him.
“No!” I cry, screaming with agony. “No!”
I fall to my knees crying. Blood continues to run down my face, now mixing with my tears. I punch the ground in anger, my knuckles begin to bleed, but I don’t care. I need some sort of realism. Yet I don’t want this to be real. I must wake from this horrible nightmare. I scream, yell, curse and cry as I throw myself around the dark and empty cave. I curl up into a ball as I lay there and cry. My eyelids get heavy and I slowly drift off into a nice peaceful sleep.

I awaken to the sound of buzzing. Slowly I raise myself and look across to Samuel. The buzzing noise is flies, and he’s covered with them. But that’s not what bothers me. Something was here in the night… how did I know? The first thing I noticed when I saw Samuel was that half his head was missing. It was eaten off. Unable to hold it in, vomit flies from my mouth and I just can’t stop. I continue to vomit over and over again. Eventually when I stop I collapse and fall into it. I give up. I can’t move. I feel pain, grief, guilt, anger and the sickening feeling that my life will never be the same. As all these things make their way through my brain, I fall asleep once again, as good as a corpse, surrounded in vomit.

Thud!…. Thud! I open an eye. There is a massive figure nearby, big enough to be a bear. It comes closer and begins sniffing me. I don’t move. I don’t care. Let it eat me. It let’s out a snort of disgust and moves on to finish off my brothers body. Then I realise, I’m covered in vomit. What luck. I can’t help but let out a laugh as I lay down in my vomit with a smile on my face. I’m alive. I am so damn lucky to be alive. I’m never going to forget that!